The Man Who Killed Google Search

 https://www.wheresyoured.at/the-men-who-killed-google/

Quote: in 2020

 Google would make Prabhakar Raghavan the head of Google Search, 

More quotes:

He was the head of search for Yahoo from 2005 through 2012 — a tumultuous period that cemented its terminal decline, and effectively saw the company bow out of the search market altogether. His responsibilities? Research and development for Yahoo's search and ads products.

When Raghavan joined the company, Yahoo held a 30.4 percent market share — not far from Google’s 36.9%, and miles ahead of the 15.7% of MSN Search. By May 2012, Yahoo was down to just 13.4 percent and had shrunk for the previous nine consecutive months, and was being beaten even by the newly-released Bing. That same year, Yahoo had the largest layoffs in its corporate history, shedding nearly 2,000 employees — or 14% of its overall workforce. 

The man who deposed Ben Gomes — someone who worked on Google Search from the very beginning — was so shit at his job that in 2009 Yahoo effectively threw in the towel on its own search technology, instead choosing to license Bing’s engine in a ten-year deal.

And one more:

Sundar Pichai, who previously worked at McKinsey — arguably the most morally abhorrent company that has ever existed, having played roles both in the 2008 financial crisis (where it encouraged banks to load up on debt and flawed mortgage-backed securities) and the ongoing opioid crisis, where it effectively advised Purdue Pharma on how to “growth hack” sales of Oxycontin. McKinsey has paid nearly $1bn over several settlements due to its work with Purdue. I’m getting sidetracked, but one last point. McKinsey is actively anti-labor. When a company brings in a McKinsey consultant, they’re often there to advise on how to “cut costs,” which inevitably means layoffs and outsourcing. McKinsey is to the middle class what flesh-eating bacteria is to healthy tissue. 

Google Culture of Fear

No story of cannibals yet, at least not literally.

In a group of former Google employees, I came across a very interesting article on a recent Gemini disaster. Gemini is an attempt to make a universal "AI", sort of a mix of chatGPT and MidJourney-Kandinsky-StableDiffusion in one bottle. In a multiculturalism attempt, it draws German WWII nazies as afroamericans...

Ok, I think Sapienti Sat, here is the link: https://www.piratewires.com/p/google-culture-of-fear

PIP - Performance Improvement Plan in the tribe

Once the tribe chief Bare Bone called for a tribal hunter who, since the recent time, was called a Lonely Bone. What members of the tribe meant, is that Lonely Bone was literally almost only bones, and for a good reason. For a long time, Lonely Bone was a very successful hunter who brought a lot of food to the tribe. In fact, he was so successful that some cannibals started to talk about making him the chief.  That was the beginning of the end for Lonely Bone, at that time still Hunting Bone yet. 

Once the Chief, Bare Bone, heard about it, it did not matter anymore how much food Lonely Bone brought to the tribe. Each time the food was given, Lonely Bone was getting very little, so he starved. 

Lonely Bone tried to protest: 

"But I bring a lot of food to the tribe, more than most other members! You even gave more food to Dumm Bone! And he barely brings any food to the tribe at all!” 

"No-no", said Bare Bone, “You look at the picture too narrowly. A good cannibal has many skills. You are a good hunter, and you bring good food to the tribe, but you have weaknesses, and you don’t work to eliminate those.” 

“And what Dumm Bone does well, which I don’t?” asked Lonely Bone. 

“You see, you don’t even realize your weaknesses”, said Bare Bone importantly, “And until you fix those, you definitely need improvement. By the way, that’s your performance rating. And until you fix them, you will get little food.” 

For a long time, Lonely Bone tried to figure out what is it so special that Dumm Bone does better than he does. But to no avail... All that time he was getting less and less food, since Bare Bone called him underperforming, and underperforming, well, they get very little food. From starvation Lonely Bone lost most of the muscle mass and started to look like a walking skeleton. This is the time what the tribe has changed his name from Hunting Bone to Lonely Bone. 

And then, one day, Cute Bone, the Bare Bone’s right hand, whispered to Lonely Bone: 

“Dumm Bone kisses Bare Bone’s butt.” 

“And that he calls my weakness???” cried Lonely Bone. 

“Ts-s-s!” said Cute Bone, “Just do it!” 

Lonely Bone sighed, spent a few days very sad, and, what can you do? He started to do what Dumm Bone did better than him. Bare Bone was very happy: 

“Now that’s better,” said he, “But while you fixed your greatest weakness, your hunting results became much worse!” 

This was true. Lonely Bone became weak from starvation, stress, and depression and was not such a successful hunter, he was once. 

“I know how to help you! It pains me to see you starving,” said Bare Bone, “What we should do is to start a Performance Improvement Plan for you. And we will use a metric to see your progress. Let me tell you how much food you have to bring in this month, so that PIP will be considered successful, and you will start getting more food. Just do it, and everything will be well.” 

Alas, Lonely Bone was too weak to hunt successfully anymore. In a month Bare Bone said: 

“Sorry, Lonely Bone, your PIP has failed.” 

And Lonely Bone went to the tribal cauldron. 

“Why did you give him an extra month?” Cute Bone asked the Chief, “Did you expect him to become a good hunter, he was once?” 

“Of course, not,” laughed Bare Bone, “I just started to give him more food so that he get some meat on his bones before we throw him into the tribal cauldron!” 

“But what about that performance improvement?” asked Cute Bone. 

“Would you agree that he tastes much better than a month ago” asked Bare Bone, and he tore off the last piece of meat with his teeth, and then, chewing it, threw a completely gnawed bone into the bushes. 

A good manager is like a condom…

The Thick Bone, manager of the Smart Bone, was eaten during the corporate layoff. The Chief of the tribe Bare Bone called his replacement, a Cute Bone.

– Do you understand why Think Bone was eaten? – he asked.

– I dunno, – said the Cute Bone, – Maybe it was random? Layoffs are supposed to be random.

Bare Bone laughed a bit and then said:

– Nice one, I like good humor. But seriously, why?

Cute Bone clearly understood that his answer was wrong…

– Maybe because he tried to eat the Smart Bone, and the tribe needs him?

Bare Bone laughed once more.

– I would forgive him for eating ten Smart Bones, who cares? No, Thick Bone was just too thick.

Cute Bone looked confused, so Bare Bone explained:

– You see, a true manager is like a condom. He is thin and elastic, he provides some protection but not much more, and he takes the shape of the upper manager, whatever it is. Do you understand?

– Yes, I understand, Chief! – said the Cute Bone hastingly.

– Speaking of that, – said the Bare Bone thoughtfully, – Go ahead and assume the position…

The Cute Bone.

On latest mass layoffs

A true samurai lives like if he is already dead.
Bushido

Let's eat 6% of the tribe

Fine Bone convinced the tribe that it gets more food than other tribes around. A year later...

- Chief, everyone believes that we give our tribe members more food than any other tribe around. But according to our shaman, so do the Investor-gods. So they demand now that we cut the food we give to the members of the tribe to reduce expenses.

- Let's eat 6% of the tribe, - said the Chief, Bare Bone, - That will reduce the amount of food we spend on the tribe.

And the tribe had a happy feast. Everyone got especially cheerful, when Bare Bone paid with his Tribal Corporate Credit Card for wine and spices to complement the fresh meat.

In the eyes of beholder

Fine Bone asked the chief of the tribe Bare Bone:

- Chief, members of the tribe defect to other tribes. They say they need more food. What's worse, they are food. And they leave the tribe! What are we going to eat?!

- Convince them that we give more food than any other tribe around.

- But we don't give them much food!

- I did not say "give them", I said "convince them that they get a lot of food." Make them believe that other tribes give less food, that's it!

- Got it! Will do! You are so wise, Chief!